An Unexpected Question

Are you happy? Someone recently asked me this instead of the usual “How are you?” or “What’s going on?” It caught me off guard and stopped me cold.

It wasn’t because I didn’t have an answer. Rather, I was struck by how rarely anyone asks it — and how rarely we ask it of ourselves.

It’s a question worth sitting with. Some of the greatest minds in history considered it the only question that truly matters. The Dalai Lama wrote that the purpose of life is to be happy. Aristotle called it eudaimonia, the highest good, or the ultimate goal of a human life. Thomas Jefferson considered the pursuit of happiness so fundamental that he wrote it into the founding document of our nation.

Yet today, less than half of Americans report being “very satisfied” with their personal lives. Loneliness and depression are troublingly high. For all our chasing — the books, the apps, the optimized routines — happiness still eludes many of us.

I keep coming back to Jefferson’s choice of the word “pursuit.” I think he understood something we’ve forgotten: Happiness isn’t a destination; it’s the sense of satisfaction, joy, or contentment we experience along the way, when we’re living fully, moving intentionally, and feeling connected to something greater than ourselves.

At Life Time, we witness on a daily basis how health and happiness are inseparable. For many, our clubs are a happy place providing connection and community. Not only are these members happy to be there, but they become physically and mentally healthier as they participate in activities day after day, week after week.

Meanwhile, other people walk through our doors relatively healthy, and as they get connected and find a class or routine they enjoy, they end up happier. I’ve watched this happen for decades, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning and thinking about why.

The answer is inside us.

When we move and train our bodies, our muscles don’t simply get stronger. They act as endocrine organs, releasing proteins called myokines into the bloodstream when they contract. Also known as “hope molecules,” myokines function like natural antidepressants, building ­resilience to stress, boosting immunity, and even reshaping the brain.

Exercise also increases the production of pain-relieving endorphins and endocannabinoids (the latter helps quiet anxiety and open us to connection, too). Our body, in ­motion, becomes its own pharmacy.

Researchers at the University of Michigan reviewed data on more than 500,000 people and found that exercise was linked to happiness across every age group and demographic. People who exercised even once a week felt happier than those who never exercised. Ten minutes a day produced measurable results. The findings suggest that the type of movement doesn’t matter — everything counts.

But movement is just the start. Move with other people, and something even more powerful happens. Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is released, helping us feel like we’re part of something bigger.

This is known as “collective effer­vescence,” that electric charge that’s generated when humans move together. It’s what we feel on a packed dance floor, doing the wave at a sporting event, or in a group fitness class.

Those connections may be the most important happiness variable of all. Researchers at Harvard have been studying happiness for over 80 years, and they’ve found that the greatest predictor of long-term human happiness isn’t wealth, success, or even physical health. It’s the quality of our relationships and the time we invest in the people we care about. We are wired for each other.

So, here’s what I know to be true:

We have to move. Start as small as you need to. Take the stairs. Walk around the block. Do five minutes of anything. Notice the shift in your body and your mood.

We have to connect in real life. Have a conversation in person. Get lunch with a friend. Go on a group bike ride or run.

We have to contribute. Consider how you can give your time, attention, and care to others; you might feel a “helper’s high” as a result.

Happiness isn’t in the next thing you achieve or accomplish. It’s already inside you — in your muscles, your physiology, and your capacity for ­human connection — and it’s waiting to be released.

It shows up when you take care of yourself, your health, and your people.

So, I’ll ask you the same question: Are you happy? If not, start moving. Your body knows the way.