Why Inclusive Language Matters

At one point or another, we’ve all been on the receiving end of hurtful language. Maybe someone said something that made you feel unwelcome, unseen, or disrespected. Perhaps somebody dismissed you, or carelessly used words that caused you pain.

On the other hand, maybe you fret over ever-changing guidelines of what is OK and not OK to say. Perhaps you worry about offending someone who matters to you — or being “canceled” for using the wrong words in a work or social setting. Or maybe you’re irritated at having to keep up with the latest politically correct language.

(Maybe all of these are true for you!)

Language evolves constantly. New ideas and technologies, as well as shifts in population, culture, identity, and social norms, all bring with them new words and phrases, as well as new ways of relating to others. And though some shifts in language are organic (when did we stop saying “groovy” and “gnarly”?), others reflect a conscious, collaborative effort.

Inclusive language seeks to consider more carefully people whose perspectives have historically been ignored, erased, or dismissed as less important. It’s not so much about political correctness as it is about using language more accurately and more effectively.

To help us understand why inclusive language matters and how to use it, we spoke with linguistic anthropologist Suzanne Wertheim, PhD, author of The Inclusive Language Field Guide: 6 Simple Principles for Avoiding Painful Mistakes and Communicating Respectfully.

Language as Action

You may remember the childhood retort: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” While words may not break bones, they can cause damage.

“Language is social action,” explains Wertheim. “When you are saying something, you are doing something.” Notably we are building, maintaining, or damaging relationships with the words we use. Every conversation with a family member, colleague, friend, customer, or service provider can cause that relationship to improve or deteriorate.

“For a lot of people, inclusive language is a list of words. For me, it’s a set of behaviors,” says Wertheim, whose academic and consulting work has centered on the role of language in effective human interactions. “It’s what’s happening when interactions go well — when people leave feeling like the relationship they have is more solid.”

“[Inclusive language] is what’s happening when interactions go well — when people leave feeling like the relationship they have is more solid.”

What’s going on when interactions don’t go well?

Often, it’s problematic language that leaves people — typically those with less social, professional, or political power — feeling marginalized or overlooked. And this can have real consequences.

Consider the patient who is admonished by his physician and told his maladies come down to his being “fat” (regardless of other possible causes). He is more likely to delay — or avoid — future healthcare interactions.

Consider the Black businesswoman who is told she should straighten her hair to appear more “professional.” What message is she receiving about her worth at her organization?

“Sometimes a single word is the last straw that causes someone to finally give up on a friend or teacher or boss,” says Wertheim.

Modern Language Etiquette

If we reflect on just the last few decades, it’s easy to see how much our ideas about acceptable language (and behavior) have changed. Many movies and TV shows from the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s include sexist, racist, homophobic, and body-shaming tropes that probably wouldn’t get past studio executives — or audiences — today.

“There were whole groups of people it was OK to be disrespectful of, push to the margins, or ignore altogether,” says Wertheim.

Today we know better — but it can still be hard to do better.

It all comes down to treating people like people and using language that does not take away from their humanity.

How can we build trusting relationships with people whose lived experiences are different from our own? How can we be polite when we can’t always know what will cause offense?

It comes down largely to good intent and honest effort. “Very small language changes have so many positive downstream effects,” says Wertheim. “They buy you grace for any mistakes you might be making.”

And when you inevitably make mistakes, she notes that apologizing, taking responsibility, and trying to do better can foster more trust than if you hadn’t made the mistake at all.

6 Principles of Inclusive Language

By using inclusive language, we pay attention to the people whose perspectives historically haven’t been considered — people who have been underrepresented or marginalized, says Wertheim. Based on data she’s collected across cultures and languages, Wertheim has identified six principles that can serve as a guiding star for evaluating words and phrases we want to use.

1) Reflect reality.

Problematic language distorts reality; inclusive language reflects it. When we neglect to address someone as they wish to be addressed, for example — such as by refusing to acknowledge their gender identity — we deny that person’s lived experience as well as the reality of human diversity.

“As long as people have been people, we have shown up with different bodies, different abilities, different sexual orientations, different genders,” says Wertheim.

From principle to practice
If someone reveals their pronouns, use them. Instead of using language that suggests gender is binary (such as “the opposite sex”), use language that reflects a more complex reality (such as “another gender”).

2) Show respect.

Our discomfort around people we consider “other” can cause us to be unintentionally disrespectful. For example, we may not think anything of saying, “I’m afraid I’m going to butcher your name” when we meet someone with a “different” or “difficult” name, but the “flavor” of such explanatory language is unpleasant at best.

In her work, Wertheim has spoken with people with foreign names who share that coworkers not only avoid saying their names but also seem to avoid speaking to them or even making eye contact.

From principle to practice
When you encounter someone with a name you don’t know how to pronounce, say “I want to make sure I say and spell your name correctly. Can you help me?”

3) Draw people in.

Problematic language, which excludes people rather than draws them in, is especially common when talking about, and with, disabled people, says Wertheim. Approximately 42.5 million Americans have a disability; they are the largest minority in the United States, according to the National Institutes of Health.

Some people make inappropriate or intrusive comments on the bodies and capabilities of disabled people. (“Wow, you dress really well for a blind person!”) Meanwhile, we may use words as insults today that began as scientific or descriptive terminology, such as “crip,” “spaz,” “lame,” or “retarded.”

From principle to practice
Be more precise — and thoughtful — in your language. Instead of “lame,” for example, try “boring” or “dull.” Don’t express surprise that disabled people are competent and capable.

4) Incorporate other perspectives.

Different lived experiences can lead to different reactions to the same situation. If you find yourself thinking I wouldn’t mind if someone said that to me, Wertheim invites you to broaden your perspective.

For example, wishing strangers a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day may feel polite to you. But not everyone receives that greeting well, particularly if they are estranged from a parent, have lost a child, or are struggling to conceive.

From principle to practice
Learn about differences in other people’s experiences, norms, and values. One way is to diversify your media: Think about a group of people that is unfamiliar to you and seek out ways to connect with individuals who identify as part of that community. Books, social media accounts, and shows or movies produced by and featuring members of the community can be valuable resources.

5) Prevent erasure.

When U.S. history is presented from the perspective of people of European descent (for example, “America was founded as a country of immigrants!”), the experiences of Indigenous people and enslaved people brought here against their will are discounted.

Or, when using English words that center the male perspective (such as “chairman,” “mankind,” and “manmade” — or the catch-all phrase “hey, guys!”) the perspectives of women and people of other genders are not considered. These are examples of erasure.

From principle to practice
Do some research on your own town or state and learn about who inhabited the area before it was colonized. In your everyday language, opt for gender-neutral terms: “committee chair,” “humankind,” or “synthetic.” Try “y’all” or “hey, everyone!”

6) Recognize pain points.

We tend to use mental health terms loosely, often to intensify our meaning. We might say someone has “mad skills” or is “crazy smart.” Or, Wertheim notes, we might call someone behaving badly “psycho” or someone doing contradictory things “schizo.”

Like the concern about using disability terms as insults, using mental health terms in disparaging or casual ways is problematic. “It trivializes the struggle of people going through mental health issues and blurs scientific descriptions of real diagnoses,” she says.

From principle to practice
Find less charged (and more accurate) language to describe people behaving in ways you don’t like. For example, instead of “psycho” say “capricious.” Instead of “schizo” say “unpredictable.”

It all comes down to treating people like people and using language that does not take away from their humanity.

We’re all going to make mistakes, but it’s helpful to worry less about getting things “right” because there’s no perfect way. Good intent and making the effort to be thoughtful can go a long way. And give yourself some grace when you do make an error. Mistakes are a step toward growth; it’s the commitment to learning from our errors that helps us strengthen and maintain our relationships over time.