Most of us long for a better relationship with our body. Maybe you want to eat better but find it hard to make changes. Or you can’t seem to get yourself off the couch to exercise. Perhaps you judge your body as too old, too fat, too small, too awkward, too whatever, and you let these thoughts limit what you do physically. Maybe you are so focused on looking a certain way that you have become disembodied. Or perhaps you spend so much time in your head — analyzing, problem-solving, and getting your work done — that you forget about your body altogether.
Your body has its own genius — an incredible ability to maintain balance, heal itself, and adapt to internal and external challenges. It operates complex systems like hormones and blood sugar, fights off infections, and repairs cell damage, all while adjusting to the rhythms of your daily life. An endocrinologist once told me she’d rather fly a 747 with no training than try to run a pancreas — it’s that complex and amazing.
A wise relationship with your body is an embodied one. Embodiment means inhabiting your body, understanding and responding to physical sensations, and expressing yourself physically. It gives you an authentic, powerful presence.
Think about people you’ve met who seem truly “embodied” — the way they confidently walk into a room, dance with their eyes closed, or intuitively place a hand on their chest when something moves them deeply. It’s a grounded confidence, a connection between body and mind.
When do you feel most embodied? Is it during a workout, while tossing a football with your kids, or when laughing with friends? It might show up in moments of strength, creativity, or connection — doing physical labor, being outside, moving to music, or having sex.
Embodiment isn’t just physical; it’s how you inhabit your life. Do you feel like you are “in” your body? Are you aware of what’s happening inside you?
Embodiment begins with curiosity — specifically with getting curious about your body’s signals. If your body could tell you what it’s been like to be your body, what would it say? What would your stomach say? Your thighs? Your eyes? And what would these body parts say they need from you?
Try this for yourself. Take a piece of paper and title it “A Letter From My Body.” Then let your body speak. What has it endured? What does it long for? Are there parts of you that feel neglected, exhausted, or unappreciated? Are there parts that you’ve criticized that might be asking for compassion?
Once you’ve written your letter, read it to yourself. Let your body’s message sink in. If you feel inspired, write a response — one of understanding, kindness, and commitment to treating your body differently.
Pay Deep Attention
An important step in embodiment is developing interoception — the ability to sense what’s happening inside your body. This internal awareness includes noticing your heartbeat, breath, hunger, and energy level.
But interoception isn’t just a body-awareness tool; it’s a life-awareness tool. Research links it to improved mental health, more mindful eating habits, and better decision-making.
Even in high-stakes environments, interoception plays a critical role. Stock-market traders with stronger awareness of their heartbeat make better trades and earn more money. Even therapists who can better sense their own physiological changes can better detect and respond to client distress.
My doctoral research focused on interoceptive awareness of appetite signals — helping individuals struggling with eating and weight concerns reconnect with their hunger and fullness cues. It’s fascinating, and a little heartbreaking, that we have to relearn something that came so naturally to us as kids. But it’s not surprising when you consider how much our modern environment pulls us away from our bodies.
Linda Stone, a former Microsoft executive, coined the term “screen apnea” to describe the phenomenon in which we tend to breathe more shallowly or even hold our breath when using screens.
Linda Stone, a former Microsoft executive, coined the term “screen apnea” to describe the phenomenon in which we tend to breathe more shallowly or even hold our breath when using screens. Stone did some kitchen-table science (not randomized or controlled) on the topic and found that 80 percent of the colleagues and friends she tested had shallow or suspended breathing while working on a screen. The clincher? Those 20 percent who didn’t show screen apnea were folks who tended to be pretty embodied — dancers, singers, a triathlete, and a cellist.
Since screens are an unavoidable part of life, the wise response isn’t to resist them but to create reminders to stay present in your body. Something as simple as a Post-it note on your screen saying Breathe or Check in can help you look up, take a deep breath, and reconnect with yourself.
Or you could write the acronym HEART. It covers a lot of the bases of interoception:
- Hunger: Am I hungry or full?
- Emotion: What emotions do I feel in my body right now?
- Activity: Is my body craving physical movement?
- Rest: Am I tired or low on energy?
- Tension: Do I notice stress, pain, or tightness anywhere?
HEART is a quick mental check-in that helps you scan your body for its most essential signals: hunger, movement, emotions, fatigue, and stress. From there, you can respond with whatever meets the need — a snack, a stretch, a nap, a phone call to a friend, or some self-massage.
Your body is always talking to you. What is it saying? Do you need a big sigh? To release some tension in your neck? To head outside for a walk? Try HEART right now. When you open to your body’s sensations, you also open to its intuition. Maybe your body is whispering something bigger than just its need for a rest — maybe it’s telling you it’s time to take a different life path.
Open Up to Intuition
Intuition is a felt sense, a nudge, that gives you clues about a situation, decision, or person. For years, during my struggles with disordered eating, I wasn’t just disconnected from my body’s physical signals — I had also shut down my inner knowing. I cut myself off from what I wanted, longed for, knew in my heart was true for me. In my recovery journey, and in my work with clients, I’ve found that when we start listening to our bodies, we hear more than just I’m hungry or I’m tired. We begin to receive deeper messages:
- I need to say no to this, even though everyone is telling me to say yes.
- Something feels off.
- I’m being pulled toward something new.
Tuning in to my body’s wisdom has guided some of my biggest life decisions. It nudged me to say yes to a first date with my husband. It encouraged me to lead retreats, even when I wasn’t sure I was ready. It shapes how I parent my kids. But learning to trust this knowing didn’t happen overnight. I had to consciously open up to my body and practice listening.
Over the years, I’ve developed a simple way to access my intuition: checking in for a whole-body yes or a whole-body no when making decisions.
A whole-body yes feels expansive, clear, even energizing. A whole-body no, on the other hand, comes with tension.
A whole-body yes feels expansive, clear, even energizing. A whole-body no, on the other hand, comes with tension: I feel it in my clenched stomach or tight shoulders. I’ve learned the hard way that when I override a whole-body no, I pay the price later. I am stuck in things I don’t really want to do, and it depletes my energy. But intuition doesn’t have to work alone. Once you check in with your body, you can cross-reference with other sources of wisdom:
- Trusted friends and family: Get perspective from people who know you well.
- Experts and evidence: Seek guidance from those with experience or research in the area.
- Problem-solving mind: Use logic and critical thinking to analyze the situation.
When these sources align with your body’s knowing, you can trust that you’re making a wise, informed decision.
Science has a complicated relationship with intuition. Some researchers warn that while intuition can be fast and efficient, it’s also prone to biases and errors — especially in complex situations requiring careful analysis. But that doesn’t mean we should dismiss it entirely.
Rather, we can view intuition as a powerful decision-making tool when balanced with wisdom. Like any skill, it improves with practice and reflection. So before making a choice, pause and ask yourself: Is this a whole-body yes? Is this a whole-body no?
Then, give yourself the space to settle into a wise answer.
We were born connected to our bodies, inhabiting them fully, trusting them, and using them to communicate and experience pleasure. At some point in life, for a variety of reasons, many of us lose this loving connection and our ability to inhabit our bodies fully. Now is your chance to reclaim the energy that comes with being embodied. You can use wise effort to care for your body and enjoy this lifelong, ever-changing adventure. Listen for the whole-body yes, and your genius body will show you the way.
This excerpt is from Diana Hill’s book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most(September 2025) and is reprinted with permission from Sounds True.
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