skip to Main Content
Partner on Cell Phone

If we bury ourselves in our phones in our loved one’s company, we might be sending an unintended message.

“When a partner is always glancing away from you to a phone, it feels like rejection, and the rejections can add up,” says Guy Winch, PhD, author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. “But if you say, ‘You’re always on your phone,’ there’s likely to be hurt feelings and a breakdown of communication.”

Winch suggests that couples who struggle with this issue agree to set some boundaries around phone use. To keep communication open, it’s best to make any agreement a mutual one (by using “we” rather than “you”), he says, lest the frequent phone-user feel blamed. Try having a phone-free dinner hour, for example, or turning off the phones at 8 every night.

If your partner feels she needs to stay available for work, he says, “establish a 15-minute period to check messages. But schedule it — decide when it would be least disruptive to your time together.” And then stick to it.

And if that doesn’t work?

Emphasize the idea of uninterrupted time together, he suggests. You’re committing to a time when work is finished, and “not being distracted from each other.” If the phone is truly not an obstacle, it should be easy to establish a no-interruption time. If putting it down is a challenge, that only proves how important and necessary a phone-free zone really is.

Thoughts to share?

This Post Has 0 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

City and state are only displayed in our print magazine if your comment is chosen for publication.

ADVERTISEMENT

More Like This

cellphone-texting-text
By Heidi Wachter
As smartphone usage grows, more and more people are finding it to be a pain.
Group Of Teenagers Sharing Text Message On Mobile Phones
By Heidi Wachter
A new poll shows the changing social norms around cell-phone use and the challenges of maintaining mobile-phone etiquette.
illustration emfs dangers
By Pamela Weintraub
The electromagnetic radiation surrounding us — especially from cell phones — may pose unseen dangers to our health. Learn what you can do to reduce your exposure to EMFs.
Back To Top