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It was a few weeks into my client’s training for an upcoming race and she was tired. She shared how her daily workout loomed, a little black cloud following her from room to room. The reminder on her calendar was just another stress point. We noticed and named the thoughts that were at the helm of her mind: Why did I sign up for this race? This feels impossible. What was I thinking?

Her mind did what the mind does during any long-term endeavor — it began to question. It wanted to quit.

I’d wager this is a familiar sentiment for anyone in their pursuit of a resolution. As a holistic performance coach and ultrarunner, I have often encountered this feeling. It surges right when the effort gets sticky. We might realize how unsustainable our new changes are, or life responsibilities might get in the way. The desired change might not align with our values, or our heart was never really in it. Or we are tired, overwhelmed, stressed.

The good news? We get to choose our next step.

We can choose to recommit, adapt, or let go. We can slow down to pay attention, ask ourselves important questions, and act in a small, mighty way. After all, it’s our life — what do we actually want to do with it?

The Power of Recommitting

Recently, I was 50 miles into a 100-mile trail race in the mountains. I was mentally foggy and my body hurt all over. As I collapsed onto a cot at an aid station, a thought wriggled its way into my psyche: You could stop. There are shuttles to drive you back. This could be over.

When we are midprocess toward a long-term goal, the urge to quit naturally arises. The work gets hard. We may negotiate with ourselves. Our tired minds may create thoughts that can prompt us to select an easier, more comfortable, route.

At that mile marker, I was ready for this. I shuffled through my drop bag — a plastic bag I had prepared with items I might need. Along with nutrition and salt tablets, “starting-line me” had placed a note from my family in the bag. I unfolded the paper and heaved gratitude at the sprawling words: “You Inspire Us” — signed by my little nieces and nephews.

It was a tiny moment of mental jet fuel, reminding me of my why. I started this race because I wanted to test my capabilities and show younger generations what was possible. I set my focus on getting up from the cot, then out of the aid station, and then back up the trail, one step at a time toward the finish. I recommitted.

Three things can give us the necessary power to keep moving forward: support, reconnecting to our why, and setting small and realistic goals. When we experience a small accomplishment, it can empower us to keep moving forward.

This may be a group class we enjoy, a walk after work, a step goal for the afternoon — or in my case, getting up from the cot and leaving the aid station. Add a sense of community or accountability from people who help us remember why we started this endeavor, and we have a potent formula for momentum.

The Flexibility to Adapt

When my client and I began to investigate her thoughts on quitting, it sparked some curiosity about the reality of her ever-changing life. She acknowledged that she felt more trapped than inspired by the time goal she set for her race. So we got curious, explored options, and gave her a chance to adapt to her life and edit her goals. Instead of striving to finish by a certain time, she committed to showing up at the start line healthy and happy.

The science of resiliency supports adaptation. It can do more harm than good to force our way toward an ideal vision for ourselves, potentially pressing us toward burnout. The ability to reshape our goals so they align with our life can be a powerful skillset. We may have a physical setback, like an injury, or an emotional one, like an unexpected death in the family; we deserve to acknowledge those and edit our goals appropriately.

The well-known Serenity Prayer captures this as the speaker asks for serenity to accept the things they cannot change, the courage to change the things they can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Joy of Letting Go

Then again, we’re not necessarily meant to reach all our goals. Forcing ourselves to follow through might not be worth it. The strain or misalignment to our values may become evident. When we let that goal go, our mental and physical well-being can improve. In fact, research suggests that abandoning a goal that no longer serves us or supports our values may even lower inflammation. This is important because chronic inflammatory responses (stress) can cause cardiovascular issues.

Take a moment to consider your goals. Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Why is this goal important?
  2. How does this goal align with my values?
  3. How does this goal fit into my life?
  4. If it’s not aligning with my life circumstances or values, how can I change it so that it does?

Give yourself time to reflect on your progress so far and allow yourself the gift to recommit, adapt, or let go.

Barbara
Barbara Powell, MA, NBC–HWC

Barbara Powell, MA, NBC–HWC, is a MindCoach with Life Time Mind and a board-certified coach with a focus in mindfulness and positive psychology. She is also an ultra-endurance athlete and 10-time marathon runner.

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