Whether we’re experienced exercisers reaching for a new personal best or newcomers taking the first steps to fitness, the line from where we are to where we want to be is guaranteed to involve loops and zigzags. And the journey is often made more difficult by the myth that motivation is the only fuel we need.
“The mistake we make is that we lose motivation when we think we’ve failed,” says behavior expert and habit-change researcher Kyra Bobinet, MD, MPH, author of Unstoppable Brain. “If we expect to be motivated and then one day we don’t feel like going to the gym, we blame ourselves for not being motivated.”
This apparent failure activates a part of our brain called the habenula, a pea-size structure that acts as a master switch for mood and behavior. Specifically, it regulates motivation and plays a role in the brain’s “antireward” system.
“The habenula detects failure,” says Bobinet. “And then, if failure is detected, it kills your motivation to keep trying that thing. This is good if what you’re trying is risky or dangerous but bad when it comes to trying to do things that are good for you. When it comes to behavior change, the primary thing we’re trying to do is overcome the feeling of failure.”
To manage motivation loss, some behavior-change experts emphasize the role of habits. If a behavior becomes a habit, you’re likely to do it regardless of how you feel at any given time.
“Habits become automatic — your default,” says Lindsay Ogden, Life Time master trainer and nutrition coach. “When you embody a habit, you no longer need to rely on motivation.”
The following steps can help you create sticky habits that work for you in exercise and beyond.
1.
Choose Behaviors That Match Your Interests and Lifestyle.
Trying to develop a habit around a behavior that you dislike or that doesn’t fit into your lifestyle increases the likelihood that you’re going to feel a sense of failure and lose your motivation before the behavior can even resemble a habit.
On the contrary, the more enjoyable something is and the more seamlessly it fits into your routine, the more easily it will become a habit.
“It’s important to know yourself,” says fitness coach Scott Schutte, cofounder of the Healthy Behavior Institute. “So much of figuring out a plan is determining what is the best fit for you, based on your environment and your personality.” (Build an effective and sustainable exercise routine you’ll love by harnessing your personality’s basic instincts. Discover more at “What’s Your Enneagram Fitness Personality?.”)
2.
Curate Your Cues.
A cue is the initial trigger that tells your brain to practice a behavior. Cues can be external: For example, packing your gym bag before bed might trigger you to work out the next day. Or they can be internal: Feeling low energy during work could trigger a break to stretch or walk.
“When a cue is built into your environment, it becomes an effortless reminder for your new habit,” says behaviorist Janine Stichter, PhD, also a cofounder of the Healthy Behavior Institute. “If you want to start walking your dog in the morning, try leaving your running shoes and the leash by the door. It’s a simple nudge that makes it easier to follow through.”
Recognizing already-established cues and habits can help you develop new behaviors through a practice called habit stacking — adding a new behavior to an existing habit until the new behavior becomes automatic.
Over time, these habits create a symbiotic system that makes it easy to work toward your goals. “Structure creates freedom,” says Ogden. “If you have solid processes in place, that’s going to free up your mental space, your energy, and your time to focus on what matters.”
3.
Soften Your Rigidity.
“A lot of people think building a habit means doing the same thing at the exact same time every single day,” Stichter says. “But being that rigid actually trips most people up. What works better is setting a general guideline and aiming for consistency — not perfection.”
To work around the all-or-nothing mindset that so often accompanies a training regimen, Ogden uses the “feeling it in five” rule. “Basically, even if I don’t feel like it, I have to get my butt to the gym as planned,” she explains. “But if I’m not ‘feeling it’ within five minutes, then I will just walk and listen to a podcast, stretch, or leave the gym completely.”
Ogden says that nine times out of 10, showing up and getting started is enough. “I have a great workout that I didn’t think I was going to have.” And if she leaves after five minutes, she does so without guilt.
4.
Find Your Positive Reinforcement.
Rewards help habits stick. You might think that seeing results would be the reward for working out, but “results are a lagging indicator of habits,” says Ogden. It might take months or years to reach certain goals.
For more immediate positive feedback, engage in activities you genuinely enjoy. If you’re not sure what those are, start with ones you don’t hate, and pay attention to how they feel in your body. Notice how you feel powerful while engaging your muscles during strength training. Notice how you smile when dancing to your favorite music. Notice the sights and sounds of your backyard as you work in the garden. Notice the sensation of your breath in your nostrils during yoga.
What feels good? Take note and revisit that activity.
Sometimes, you’ll want to get positive reinforcement from a behavior that’s not naturally rewarding for you. In that case, pair the behavior with something positive: Put on a playlist you love while doing lunges. Hike with your best friend. Stack a challenging group fitness class with a relaxing sauna session.
“What your brain does over time is create an association so that the desired habit in and of itself becomes a positive experience on its own,” says Stichter.
5.
Be Prepared to Pivot.
For a behavior to hold up over time, it helps to understand that failure is inevitable. A disciplined runner who has built a habit of logging 25 miles a week might get injured. A new mom who once loved her habit of working out at night might find herself too exhausted by the end of the day.
Rather than seeing these circumstances as reasons to give up, view them as opportunities to iterate, says Bobinet. “Iterating means tinkering, tweaking, adapting — doing it a slightly different way.”
That might mean making subtle changes to an activity — time of day, duration, complexity, choice of workout partner — or even changing the activity altogether, she explains.
“It might also mean reevaluating the goal you set in the first place,” Bobinet adds. “Make iterations to your effort to increase success, avoid failure, and protect your motivation.”
This article originally appeared as “Sticky Habits” in the January/February 2026 issue of Experience Life.
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