One Friday this past fall, my partner, Brian, and I sat together on the bleachers at our local high school soccer team’s senior night. As the sun set, we watched as the departing seniors were honored for their contributions. They shared thanks for their parents’ support as well as their hopes for the future. Then they took the field for a gripping, hotly contested match.
We didn’t have any children in the game — or even at the school. But because we live nearby, we chatted with neighbors, renewed old friendships, and enjoyed seeing the players, whom we remembered as kids, preparing to launch into the next chapter of their lives. We felt connected anew to our community and relished cheering at a fast-paced sporting event.
At a time when things feel more polarized than ever and loneliness has been declared a health epidemic, small gestures of connection matter. Building community not only helps us feel better but also improves our health and sense of belonging — all while fostering social ties that could provide a vital support system in times of need.
“Family and community can and should be where we find belonging, care, and love,” writes Mia Birdsong in How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community. “We can create more of what we all need when we are in community.”
To start building community in a way that matters to you, consider taking on one or more of these ideas.
1) Talk to strangers.
Leverage the power of casual encounters by chatting up the person in line with you at the local farmers’ market or coffee shop. You never know when you’ll discover a common interest that could lead to a new connection.
Linger after events to engage with other attendees or staff. Talk to other parents and caregivers at the local park or playground with your kids. We come into contact with so many people in our daily lives — interacting with any one of them could spark a sense of community if we stay open to synchronicity.
2) Become a regular.
Look for a coffee shop or locally owned café in your neighborhood where you can get to know the staff and regular customers. Be friendly and make small talk. Lend a charger if someone’s device is low on battery power. If you’re always there on Tuesdays, say, you might start to recognize faces and can strike up a friendship. Just as everybody knew your name at the Cheers bar and the Friends crew hung out at Central Perk, you can cultivate community in a regular spot.
3) Offer to help neighbors with errands.
Keep an eye out for people in your community who might benefit from your time — especially if it’s tacked onto your other weekly errands. Pick up extra groceries or make a pharmacy run for an elderly community member. Deliver Meals on Wheels or volunteer at a local food bank.
4) Start a book, exercise, or game club.
If you love to read, work out, or play canasta, you could invite neighbors or members of a local Facebook group to get together. Even better, enlist a couple of other people to rotate hosting duties so you broaden the base of organizers. With a big enough invitation list, you’re bound to get at least a half-dozen people to attend.
If your home isn’t a suitable gathering spot, you can always meet at a public library or community center. By picking the same weekly or monthly time, people can schedule it and show up without needing to RSVP.
5) Engage in community gardening.
Get your hands dirty in a local community garden — or start one yourself. Time outdoors can improve your heart rate, lower blood pressure, boost vitamin-D levels, and ease stress.
Moreover, seeing flowers, fruits, and vegetables grow gives us all a sense of progress and hope. In a community garden, you’ll regularly work a plot next to the same people — a perfect opportunity to build social ties.
6) Make the most of your front porch.
Sitting on your porch lets you chat with passing neighbors. Host a porch party where you share munchies and beverages with friends. Or kick it up a notch with a musical “porchfest” featuring talented neighbors and their offspring. For years, our neighborhood enjoyed a periodic outdoor music “festival” featuring community artists. Throw in a pitcher of lemonade and some cookie trays, and it’s a party! The front stoop of your apartment building can also work — or make the most of the community spaces in your building.
7) Welcome new families.
When we moved into our current house, the neighbors down the street brought us a tray of cookies, and suddenly we felt part of a community. Our family continues that tradition with brownies or other sweet treats for new members of the neighborhood, sending the message, “We’re glad you’re here.”
8) Share skills.
During the pandemic, my son taught some neighborhood kids how to plant and grow strawberries. He could easily spare dirt, a few small pots, and clippings from his own patch.
Whether you’re handy with repairs or computing know-how, your neighbors would appreciate such instructions or assistance. You can formally teach them or help on a one-time basis.
9) Plan an outdoor viewing party.
Host an outdoor movie night for friends or neighbors, projecting a film or sporting event on the side of a garage or a large white sheet. Everyone can bring a folding chair or two. Pop some popcorn and boost the sound system. You’ll encourage the campfire effect of sitting down to an experience together — and leave feeling more connected.
10) Coordinate a yard sale or giveaway.
It’s great when one family declutters and posts items in a Buy Nothing group — but imagine the bounty from multiple homes! You can coordinate a yard sale with neighbors and friends or organize a giveaway. When you’re pooling the items, it aids the environment as well, because there’s less driving around the area to pick up free stuff.
11) Visit the lemonade stand.
When kids are selling their homemade elixir or artwork, or holding their own toy sale, stop by and at least say hi. I was walking my dog past a group of children selling bracelets on the sidewalk. Despite needing to get home, I paused to admire the beads and then commissioned a custom bracelet as a gift. Days later, the kids delivered it — along with their adorable smiles. And we felt more connected to our neighbors.
12) Volunteer your talents.
Brian volunteers as an usher for our local music center. He gets to enjoy spectacular shows for free — and build friendships with the fellow ushers and regular patrons. If music’s not your thing, you could become a citizen scientist, join a park-maintenance group, or mentor a student at your local school — choosing whatever matches your interests.
13) Share resources.
We can help our pocketbooks and the environment by sharing with others — while also deepening community ties. Pool resources by creating a tool-sharing or medical-equipment-sharing program in your neighborhood: Not everyone on your block needs a power saw or snowblower of their own.
Shortly after our first child was born, Brian and I started a babysitting co-op with other families from a postpartum support group: Members agreed to exchange babysitting time. The workload was light, since babies usually go to sleep by 7:30 p.m., and it gave all of us a chance to engage in some adult social time.
Apartment dwellers might start a “free” box in the laundry room or a WhatsApp group chat where people can offer to pick up grocery items.
This article originally appeared as “Creating Community” in the May/June 2025 issue of Experience Life.
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