The Case for Authentic and Effective Communication
With Amelia Reigstad, PhD

Season 8, Episode 22 | August 13, 2024
Effective communication is essential to any successful interaction — and that requires not only speaking productively, but also showing up authentically as ourselves. Amelia Reigstad, PhD, shares insights around mastering this skill through the lens of workplace communication, though the strategies and best practices she offers can also be applied to nearly any other type of relationship or environment.
Amelia Reigstad, PhD, is a change agent, speaker, and facilitator with a passion and love for knowledge. With over two decades of experience, she enjoys sharing her expertise across a variety of industries and has designed communication and leadership training programs, facilitated workshops, and has led team members to success across North America.
Reigstad has spoken on a global scale at numerous conferences and events, and she has also taught a variety of university-level courses throughout the United States, Canada, Europe, and the United Kingdom. Over the course of her career, she has authored numerous articles on gender, communication, leadership success, and authenticity, and is also a published author. As a Twin Cities Business Magazine Notable Women Entrepreneur 2022 and the founder of The Women Empowerment Series, she inspires and encourages women to use their voice to initiate change through authentic communication.
One important aspect of communication that Reigstad addresses in this episode is listening —specifically listening to understand, not to respond.
“So many times we’re sitting in a conversation with words on the tips of our tongues, just waiting to spit out what we want to say,” says Reigstad. “But when we do that, we’re not actively listening.”
Reigstad describes this habit as “autobiographical listening,” which is what happens when we’re in conversation and listening to someone and start to feel some sort of common ground. Instead of actively listening to the person, we start interjecting — putting ourselves in their shoes and sharing our stories. Though there are times this can be beneficial for creating rapport, it’s not helpful when the other person simply needs us to listen.
To practice the skill of active listening, Reigstad suggests trying this exercise:
- Pair up with another person.
- Pick a topic that one of you can talk about for one minute.
- While one of you is talking, the other person is listening; do not interject in any way, even by nodding your head. The goal is to simply sit and listen.
- Switch roles.
- After both of you have had your turn, reflect on the exercise: How did the exercise you feel? Was it challenging? Did you want to interject? Did you want to start sharing your story?
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Transcript: The Case for Authentic and Effective Communication
Season 8, Episode 22 | August 13, 2024
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Welcome to Life Time Talks, the podcast that’s aimed at helping you achieve your health, fitness, and life goals. I’m Jamie Martin, editor-in-chief of Experience Life, Life Time’s whole life health and fitness magazine. And I’m David Freeman, director of Alpha, one of Life Time’s signature group training programs.
We’re all in different places along our health and fitness journey, but no matter what we’re working toward, there are some essential things we can do to keep moving in the direction of a healthy purpose-driven life.
In each episode, we break down various elements of healthy living, including fitness and nutrition, mindset and community, and health issues. We’ll also share real, inspiring stories of transformation.
And we’ll be talking to experts from Life Time and beyond who share their insights and knowledge so you’ll have the tools and information you need to take charge of your next steps. Here we go.
[MUSIC]
What’s going on everyone? Welcome back to another episode of Life Time Talk. Today’s topic, we’re gonna be hitting on strategies for authentic, effective workplace communication. And we got a special guest that Jamie’s gonna end up introducing here shortly. But just speaking of this topic, effective communication, as you all know, is a lifeblood of any successful workplace. And knowing that it’s a skill that we continue to strive to master, within this episode, we’ll be discussing various strategies and best practices to be able to foster authentic, effective communication within your organization. Jamie, go ahead and introduce our special guest.
Yes, we are so excited to have Amelia Reigstad with us today. Amelia is a passionate change agent, speaker and facilitator with a passion and love for knowledge. With over two decades of experience, she enjoys sharing her expertise across a variety of industries and has designed communication and leadership training programs, facilitated workshops and led team members to success across North America. She has spoken on a global scale at numerous conferences and events and has also taught a variety of university level courses throughout the United States, Canada, Europe, and the UK. Over the course of her career, Amelia has authored numerous articles on gender, communication, leadership success, and authenticity, and is also a published author. As a Twin Cities Business Magazine Notable Woman Entrepreneur in 2022, and the founder of the Women Empowerment Series, Amelia inspires and encourages women to use their voice to initiate change through authentic communication.
Amelia, thanks so much for being here with us.
Thank you very much for having me. I’m thrilled to be here.
Well, we want to start out with having you share a little bit of your story and what led you to pursue a career that’s focused on helping people communicate more authentically and effectively. How did you get here?
Oh, quite the story. So, I am originally from just outside of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. So I grew up, all of my education is in communications, marketing, and public relations. However, I always thought I was going to be a high school English teacher. Wasn’t very good at the maths and the sciences that I needed, even just general studies. So, I ditched that, I went into public relations and dabbled in PR and communications, but really then landed as a university professor. So I spent 15 years as a professor, both in Canada and then here in the United States. And once the pandemic hit, I turned 40, I finished my doctorate degree and I was like, I don’t really wanna teach anymore. What am I gonna do with my life? So I was very fortunate that my doctorate study took place in the Twin Cities and it was about gender communication. So essentially how men and women communicate differently in the workplace. And a lot of my interviewees were in the Twin Cities. And so I was fortunate to share the results of my study. There were some folks from Life Time that were some of my subjects, which was really fun. And I thought, well, could I make a business out of this? Could I go into organizations and help them to communicate more impactfully and authentically? And so here I am. That’s what I’m doing.
I love it. Well, let’s be clear here. This is Doctor Amelia. mean, you went through, you got the PhD. So I want to make sure we acknowledge, because I know if I go through a PhD program, I want that doctor every time you say my name. So with communication being our topic, it is what I would call a lost art nowadays. And granted, you even said it, like at the height of the pandemic, a lot of these different social pieces dropped off. The interaction, connections dropped off tremendously, especially for kids, but also in the workplace. So, navigating all the things that have happened over the past three and some change now, what are the things that you’ve seen that really have changed the game when it comes to communication? How can we get back on top of the game in that space? Yeah. So, I mean, it’s interesting.
You know, the global pandemic did a number, you know, on all of us in a variety of different ways. And, you know, sure. Hybrid work, working remotely, you know, is beneficial, but it really has taken away that communicative connection that we need. And my assumption, if you ask anyone who’s working in a hybrid environment and maybe for the two of you as well, I mean, there’s some challenges there. It can be really hard to be working with different people and not actually being in the same space. Right, so how do we navigate through having some of those conversations when geographically, or even just behind a camera, it just can cause so many issues.
Well, one thing too that happened in the pandemic is that we know a lot of people were feeling a sense of burnout in that too. And I know when people are not feeling, they’re not feeling connected to their work, they’re feeling disassociated from it, that affects how we connect with one another too. So is there anything you want to speak to with that? Because I know it felt like there was a big sense of burnout at the height of the pandemic, we’re now, you know, almost four years since that started. What are you seeing in terms of burnout and how that’s affecting how people, you know, show up in the workplace, whether that’s hybrid or in person.
Yeah. So, I mean, burnout certainly continues to play a role. There was burnout before the pandemic, during, and burnout. I mean, it’s systemic. It continues, right? So I am a firm believer that, you know, it might manifest in individuals, but it originates in systems. If we do not have the support of leaders within organizations, the different challenges within the industries that we work in, right? So even I can speak from working in public relations, 24 -7 job at times, right? Does it have to be, right? Those systems, that industry that’s in place, I’m not creating that. However, if I’m working in PR, well, I’m going to be part of it then. So it originates in systems, manifests and individuals.
I got to tap into that. I literally, literally went over systems. I talked about support systems this week and we were talking about burnout as well. And the fact that you said systems, that’s why people who are listening, jumped up, but I jumped up because it was like, what the timing of what was just said. And, I like to teach people through acronyms for them to be able to remember and associate something to the word as a form of communication so they can connect with it. So I talked about time earlier in the week and how we utilize our time. And if we don’t know how our time is being pretty much pushed in one area or another, it can lead to burnout because you’re just aimlessly doing things. So I said, time is defined as things I must execute. That’s the acronym. Then I said, with your time, you need to have a support system. You just said the word system. And if you have a great support system in place, system, that word, save yourself time, energy, and money. And then it can help elevate whatever it is that we’re trying to achieve. So I think that’s key. So when we talk about support system and how that can help with communication when you’re clear and it’s clarity around what it is that we’re trying to do, it can yield in my opinion, at least a great result. What are your thoughts there?
Yeah, I mean, absolutely. And going off of that too, from a communication perspective, when we’re talking about burnout, we have to be able to set boundaries. We have to be able to say no. As an example, communicating with my kids, I always say to them, the toilet actually doesn’t care who cleans it. One of you can go clean it. I’m going to go sit down and read a book. I am communicating that, you know what, I don’t need to be doing this. Somebody else can. So it’s about, too, literally amplifying, using your voice to make change happen. So we do take, we do, like we’re players, right? We’re players in this idea of burnout, active players, but we also can change the story if we use our voice, if we communicate to do it.
What I wanted to champion, you just said it, your support system, if you will, for your children, you communicated clearly what it is that you want them to do, but from a support system, there’s also a why. You’re probably teaching them good habits. It might yield something that translates to something else. So why is it key, even with clear communication, that you have a strong support system as well?
Yeah. I mean, that is, having that strong support system, you know, is important because we’re not living in this world by ourselves. Not, we don’t do a lot of things on our own, right? So just having that ability to ask for help. To communicate, to talk to one another. Build your community, collaborate, connect, and you can’t do that without communicating.
So to that end, I mean, we talk about communication is a skill. It’s something that we learn to do very early on, and then habits can become ingrained. So how do we, if we are in an experience where we’re struggling with communication, how do we begin, or why is it worthwhile, I guess I should say, to devote time and attention to it? Because we know it can make a difference, but why?
Yeah, so I mean, it’s true. If we, or the active participant in getting better at anything, putting the time in to do so. So organizations will say, we know that communication is important, yet there’s all this dysfunction going on. So then what are you gonna do about it? So I am a firm believer in everyone, whether you’re thinking about it from a professional perspective, a personal perspective, to really build an understanding of your communication style. So there’s a plethora of different assessments out there. I use one called Straight Talk, a free assessment that you can find online. It gives you a really good idea of how I communicate as an individual. But it’s also really important to then understand, well, how do the people in my life who I’m interacting with on a day-to-day basis communicate as well? What is their style? And it’s kind of like being a student again, doing the homework, putting that effort in to improve. So if we can build an understanding of how we communicate, that’s only going to be beneficial in the long run.
And that’s really one of those tools that you shared. And it’s kind of one of the tips that we’re going to get to here in a little bit more depth that can help us when we better understand ourselves, when we understand the people who we’re surrounded with, that can help create not only better communication, but just better relationships in general, better dynamics for anybody who’s around us. Putting practice into play, you’re probably familiar with Strength Finders, Tom Raths Strength Finders. And this was one of the things that, kind of like what you just said, I ended up doing with some of my colleagues because I wanted to understand their strengths and how they like to be communicated to and how to tap into those things. So I think they have, we have so many things in place, but to activate and bring it to life is a different thing. We might have pillars that speak to benevolence and communication and courage, but to act those things out is different. So being a leader, you have to take the action. So clear communication, let’s go back to that. Authenticity, let’s talk about being authentic within your communication and why that is so key. I think if I’m talking to you and you’re my direct report, I might operate out of a place of fear because you control a lot of my trajectory. But if I really feel that I need help or I want to say no, but my fear is there’s going to be a repercussion, how do you still operate in your authenticity without thinking that something bad is going to happen?
I mean, I get that question all the time and I don’t even know if I have a good enough answer for you because it’s so challenging. When you start talking about fear. Because fear is an authentic feeling, and some folks may work in a toxic environment where they do really fear. If they say no, if they use their voice, if they ask questions, something negative is going to happen from their leadership. And that’s where it goes back to not all leaders are good leaders. Right? And not all leaders should be in the leadership positions that they are in. So I have, you know, a quote that I love, be fearlessly authentic, bravely be you. For all of you that are listening, I want you to write that down. Be fearlessly authentic, bravely be you. I have it permanently written on my forearm via a tattoo. So I really do believe in it. And even though it may be challenging in a communication, setting because you have that fear, I would just absolutely encourage you to do your best, be authentic, and try to put that fear on the back burner and see what happens. Easy for me to say that, and I don’t feel like there’s really something specific that we can all do if we’re faced with that fear except be ourselves. If we can’t be ourselves, then who can we be?
We’ve had, David, you and I have talked about that a little bit on the podcast, how sometimes we feel like depending on a circumstance we’re in, a meeting we’re attending, like, what version of myself is walking into that room and what parts of myself do I potentially hide or pull back on because of that? And I think that’s something that’s been a really important thing over the course of the last few years. I mean, since we’ve been talking about these things, like how can I show up as me? Because this is… The best version of myself is only gonna show up when I’m fully myself, I believe, right? So let’s talk a little bit too. I wanna go back to, you mentioned the straight talk assessment that you tend to work with Amelia. You know, again, there are tons of different assessments you can do to kind of figure out your communication style, but why is it so important for people to do that actually? Because, I mean, we’re all different, but like, are there reasons why we really need to do that? And how can it help us in the workplace?
Yeah, I feel like it is really important for all of us to know how we communicate. And first off, to really build that understanding of the differences between personality traits and communication styles. Personality traits are fixed characteristics of someone. We can’t change that. If we’re interacting with someone who is a narcissistic personality, stop there. You are not going to be able to change that individual. However, if we can build an understanding of not only our communication style, but the communication styles of others, that’s when we have this wonderful opportunity to adapt or modify our style, depending on who we’re interacting with, depending on the situation. Now, it’s not that we’re changing ourselves or that we’re not acting or speaking authentically, but we have the ability to know, modify and adapt our styles so that we can get the best solution to either that conflict or that conversation. Navigating that conversation, I think is going to be a challenge always. And we always have to continue to evolve within this space.
The one piece that I want to throw out there, I think it’s the obvious, like as a man talking to a woman and a woman talking to a man or man to man and woman to woman, there can be differences on how we communicate or how something may be received. So touch on some of the nuances behind the influence of that within the workplace dynamic and some of the challenges you probably have seen over the years.
Yeah. So I will say too, and a little bit theoretical here, research based. So a lot of the work that I did when I was going through my PhD program was looking at the work of Deborah Tannen, who’s a linguistic scholar at a Georgetown University. And a lot of her research was based on what we call a linguistic style. Our linguistic styles are learned at a really young age. So think two, three, four, five years of age, literally on the playground. Boys and girls learn these linguistic styles completely differently. So girls tend to have a small group of playmates, a singular best friend, they’re trying to build a rapport, they’ll speak really closely together. Boys on the other hand, their tendency, still wanting to build that rapport, but they’re playing in much larger groups and they are really trying to position their hierarchical status over one another. So now that could be considered a generalization, but the research will tell us that we learn these linguistic styles at a young age from different societal influences, parental influences, all kinds of things. We grow up with these linguistic styles, know, through our teenage years, through adulthood, and those linguistic styles can then transfer over to the workplace. That’s kind of where some of those differences between men and women start out as. And then it can go from there. Right? So what’s important, I always feel when we’re linking about gender communication, you know, is really building that understanding, right? Because if you talk to anybody about gender communications, like they’re not going to be like, I’m communicating this way because that was my linguistic style. People don’t know that, right? That’s not common. But I feel too, like that’s where a lot of the interest in my research had stemmed from was being able to articulate you know, why some of these differences are apparent. And it’s because they start out at a young age.
So within that, I’m saying that tone and flux like that, that variance between a male to female when speaking or male to male, however we might look at it, but that crossover, how tone has obviously some of effect on how it’s being received.
Like if you’re communicating something, like if you were speaking to a female, like how your tone of voice would be—
Could come off as aggressive or overwhelming. And once again, as an example, the way I’m speaking to you right now, this is how I’d normally speak in general. So that could be like, whoa, there’s a lot going on there. So just more of like how that’s being received.
So going off of that, using that as an example, if I worked with you on a day-to-day basis, if I really had that understanding of how you communicated, already, so if I think about straight talk, I would place David, you as an expresser and a director, just based on our interaction in this short amount of time. So, if I was interacting with you and you were coming off how you were coming off, I’d be like, OK, well, that’s how David communicates. And I wouldn’t necessarily think kind of anything other than that. Because too, when we think about tone of voice, I don’t feel necessarily that tone of voice is gender specific, right? Because women can have a really negative tone of voice too, right? Or women can come off aggressive, right? And that kind of ties into some of those personality traits. Sometimes it’s stereotypical. We have to be really careful that we’re not placing men and women into these stereotypical boxes as well. So there’s so much that we can unpack when it comes to those gender differences. But sometimes people will look at me and be like, it’s a generalization. So I share what I know, and we usually go from there.
I was going to say, that was perfect. I like how you framed that up. So if David is now express or director, so you’re used to that. Let’s say David’s having an off day and now my tone is not as expressive or director and I’m speaking to you, you now know something’s probably either wrong with me or like that’s why I’m talking about key components of understanding communication there. Yeah.
Well then for me, I am also a director and expressor, right? If I’m noticing that interaction with you that’s like, David just doesn’t see him himself today. Then I adapt and modify my communication style. So I’m not all high energy busting into David’s office going like, woohoo, where I’m coming more so in of like, hey, like, you know, we’ve got this meeting later on. Do want to just sit in here and chat about it first? It seems like this might be a better place for you. So just adapting and modifying again, still being yourself. But just knowing how to modify your communication style, depending on the person that you’re interacting with.
I love the level of awareness that this brings to you too. I mean, it really does take work to do this, but it’s a little bit about awareness. It’s a self-awareness of who you are, right? And the willingness to do that work, but then to be able to meet people where they are too. And it’s not compromising. It’s really like, that’s a way for us to collaborate in a really effective way. And I think you know, I know I’ve shared with you, Amelia, in the past that we’ve, like at Experience Life Magazine, we’ve used the Enneagram as a tool that’s really helped us figure out how to work together and work effectively. And that’s been really powerful. Like when I’m preparing to go into meetings, whether it’s like a review or, you know, whether for the magazine or a performance review, it’s really figuring out how can I talk to this individual based on who I am and who they are? And it, to me, that creates a deeper respect and connection between us too. And so that I think that’s something that’s important as well because communication is a way of showing respect to one another. And it’s not just speaking, it’s also listening.
Yeah, I mean, it is so absolutely critical. Listening to understand and not to respond. And we’re all guilty of it and we could all do a better job of listening. Because so many times we’re just sitting there in a conversation with the words on the tip of our tongues. We’re just waiting to spit out what we want to say. But when we do that, we’re not actively listening. And something that I want to introduce the idea of with both of you as well, and those who are listening, are you familiar with the term autobiographical listening?
No.
I am not.
- And that’s quite common. So autobiographical listening is when we’re in a conversation, we’re listening to someone, but then we’re starting to feel kind of this common ground, and instead of just listening to that person, we start interjecting. We start putting ourselves into their shoes. We start sharing our stories. And at times, we all do it. And sometimes it can be extremely beneficial. We’re creating that rapport. But when sometimes when folks are really just needing you to listen, it’s not going to do any good for us to start telling our stories. So really paying attention and practicing. So in a lot of the training sessions I do, I will literally pair up people. I will have them pick a topic that they can talk about for a minute. And I just have that other person sit there and listen. Don’t interject. Try not to nod your head. Just sit and listen. And then we switch. And then after, we’ll have a conversation of, hey, well, how did that make you feel? Was that challenging to sit there and listen? Did you want to interject? Did you want to start sharing your story? And it’s a really good exercise to practice our active listening. It’s really challenging.
Right when you said nodding of the head, I saw Jamie stop hers and I was like, let me stop nodding my head too. I mean, it’s almost like a habit because you want them to know that you’re, or at least it feels like you’re listening. So you want them to know you’re listening, right?
Absolutely. And what I’m saying there too, it’s not that we don’t want to show violence. We want to acknowledge, we want to, you know, our heads in conversations because that’s all appropriate. The sharing of the stories and like kind of jumping in and interjecting, like something that relates to us. Sometimes it’s not as fruitful as just sitting there and listening to that person share their experience.
Intentional listening, I like to call it. And I use this before in the past. And I actually got it from one of my great friends. His name’s Kelvin Scott out in North Carolina. AOL. You got mail. So AOL. Y ‘all remember AOL. Before the conversation starts, I think grounding with, hey, Dr. Amelia, do you want before you start this, do you want my advice — that A — do you want my opinion or you just want me to listen? And I think grounding that conversation because if they’re looking for your opinion, that’s one thing. If they want your advice, that’s another thing. If you just want me to listen. Now I know what time it is and clear communication from the beginning. I think can yield exactly what it is that you’re saying. So that’s, that’s something I got from my mentor a while back. AOL.
So do you follow that?
It’s hard, but I have. But it is hard, just I think from a conditioning standpoint of wanting to support or solve or be the, you know, the Captain America, whatever you want to call it, or Wonder Woman. Like I think we naturally want to just support and provide the answer. And sometimes just what you just said, just, they just need you to listen.
Yeah, but that goes back to what Jamie was saying too, simply about the awareness, right? None of us are perfect. We can all work on being better communicators, better listeners, but it’s that level of awareness. Are we trying to be a better listener? So it takes some work.
The difficult piece that I actually encountered recently, but I think everyone will encounter at some point in time, is navigating death. When you have someone that’s close to you and they lose a loved one, they’re coming to you because one, you’re a trusted individual that they love and care about. And it’s like the hardest thing, like, because you want to say something, but it’s like, it’s so foreign to a lot of people. And what to say in that moment is sometimes silence. Just be there and listen and hold whatever it is that they may need.
Yeah. And so going off of that too, David, I’ll say silence is really a blessing. So even if we put that back into a work environment, maybe we’re in a conflict situation, it is so okay to sit with your thoughts, right? That we have this expectation that somebody is gonna respond. What if you don’t have anything to say right away? It’s okay to sit in your thoughts and silence is a good thing.
So, I wanna circle back to the AOL, which David, I don’t, you always have acronyms. They’re just always there. He pulls them out of his hat. I love them. But I want to go back, because that really ties back to Amelia, something that you shared is like one of the important things is clear communication upfront. And that also means to you, there’s like a level of transparency we want people and like verbalizing your intent. And I would love for you to speak to that, because I know that’s an important part of, you know, entering a conversation with whoever you’re connecting with, personal or professional.
Yeah, I feel it’s just really important. Again, it goes back, sometimes I start sounding like a bit of a broken record, but it goes back to that awareness level of verbalizing our intent. And it’s not that we’re running around at all of our conversations saying, well, I want to talk to you about this. We’re not necessarily specifically exactly saying what our intent is. But having that goal and that aim to have affirming positive intent in our conversations and linking that back to having honest and transparent conversations. Because a lot of times, and especially in conflict, we start beating around the bush a lot, where we’re not then necessarily being our authentic selves. We can have challenging conversations, but we can still be diplomatic about it. We can have those hard conversations, whether it’s in a performance review, and maybe we’re in an argument. You can still be diplomatic and being able to share our honest feelings about something. Because then that then brings it back to that authenticity as well. We have to be able to be ourselves in conversations, but we have to also acknowledge like how that conversation is taking place and being sure that we’re being diplomatic if it’s, one of those tough conversations. But being honest, being truthful in those conversations, even if they’re, you know, sometimes hard to be in.
So Dr. Miller, you said this is a skill that you constantly have to keep pouring into and growing. So what, what are some other, I know you said like straight talk, like what are some other tools or resources people can do to continue to evolve in this space?
Yeah, I mean, number one is I do really feel like whatever assessment that you can find that kind of speaks to you, that can really help you to understand how you communicate and then your peers or your family. Because again, a lot of what we’re talking about here today can be applied to our personal relationships as well. But again, there’s so many online resources. You can go to different communication blogs. You can tap into different communication podcasts. Lots of different resources out there if people want to put the time in. It’s just like working out. Do you want to put the time in to be a healthy individual? Yeah. Do you want to be a better communicator? Then tap into some of those online resources or those assessments and talk about communication. And again, if you’re in an organization that maybe you feel people don’t communicate all that well, well, is there anything that you could do or any conversations that you could have to help make communication stronger within the workplace?
And that’s something, Amelia, you and I have talked about. It’s interesting because obviously I have a team of communicators and writers and editors and all these things. We’ve talked like there’s a lot of opportunities even for us to figure out how do we communicate even more effectively with one another, with our writers, with our freelancers, anybody that we’re working with. And so even if you’re a good communicator, there’s always room for improvement. especially after the last four years where we’ve had some disparate relationships, it’s about reconnecting in a new way, I think.
Yeah, absolutely. And I would say too, kind of linking this back to mental health and wellness also. I mean, communication plays a really significant part in that. Like if you think about if you’re in a conflict situation with a colleague or your spouse or your kids, that plays on you, your wellbeing, your mental health, you feel stressed. All those things that if we communicate more effectively. If you have a great empowering conversation with a colleague, that’s going to make you feel pretty dang good. If you’re in that conflict situation, that’s going to hit on your mental health too. So we can tie in the importance of effective communication into our overall well-being as well.
What you’re talking about there, I think, when there are is conflict in communication. It’s something that — Yes, it’s happening externally from us, but we feel it in our bodies. You know, you kind of know that feeling. Like maybe there’s a little bit of like, you feel it in the pit of your stomach. And you know, we know that all of those, our mental health effects are our hormones in different parts of us. So it’s another thing, it’s like, it’s just another thing. It’s another part of the web of how all of these different factors in our lives affect our overall wellbeing. So yeah, it’s, it is, it’s all intertwined. It’s just the reality we discover.
The way that we’re communicated to as well. I’ll give you a very authentic, transparent example. A couple weeks ago, I went in for my annual mammogram. Those results got sent to me without being sent to the doctor first, and I got an abnormal result. So for all the women listening and Jamie, for you, you know what that feeling is like. Okay, so the timing of our communication and what aligns with that and how people are communicated is really important because I got that result on a Friday afternoon where I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I had to sit all weekend long until I could actually speak to somebody. Now, can you imagine that level of stress, that lack of communication of what it did to my mental health and my body that week? Right, and now thank God everything is A-OK, good. However, that lack of communication in any kind of situation can just be gut wrenching. So how then too, from an organizational systems perspective, could those types of things be communicated differently? So now that’s just an example, but again, how communication is absolutely linked to our wellbeing and our mental health.
Dr. Miller, so like I’m raising an eight year old daughter. I got a son too that’s 10, but a female specific. She’s going on 21, I feel like, this year. But nonetheless, what I wanna ask you, said it, studies have shown it. I know every environment could be different, but if the voice for so long is probably used to being, you know, somewhat not as that hierarchy that you were kind of saying that little boys may do, now as she starts to grow up and get through the, adolescent and preteens and all those other things, how do we help as parents champion, you know, the voice that these young girls and soon to be, you know, businesswomen in the workplace, how do we champion those voices?
You know, I absolutely love that question, David. And I feel it goes right back to the authenticity and encouraging your little girl to just be her and to speak her voice, right? To share her experiences, to not be afraid of doing something that she wants to do and really honing in on the importance of her being herself. Because like I said earlier, if we can’t be ourselves, who can we be? And it’s so important for young girls growing up to know that they have the power to do whatever the heck they want to do. And nobody can really tell them otherwise. So just in really encouraging her to be herself, to be authentic in what she’s doing.
Well, Amelia, what did we miss? Are there any final tips or tricks or things that you want to share with our listeners about authentic and effective communication at work or otherwise? Because I feel like we’re always talking. We’re always, whether it’s written or verbal communications.
Yeah, I would really tap back into being authentic, be fearlessly authentic, bravely be you, using your voice to amplify, to initiate change, and putting in the time, putting in the effort, if increasing your level of communication is important to you, then do that homework. Take those steps. Do those assessments. Practice your active listening. And kind of add it into your day-to-day. Because we can all improve in the area of communication.
Well, David, it’s over to you. We have one final question. We call it our mic drop moment. And that’s for you, Amelia. He’s ready for you.
Are you ready for it? Alright, Dr. Amelia, if there was a musical and pretty much that musical is you, your story, and obviously you got to sing throughout that whole musical, what would be the title of this musical?
Oh, that is a good one. The Purple Mohawk.
Okay, now you gotta explain. You gotta explain.
Yeah, okay. So I do have bright, purple, mohawk-type hair. And that really does tie into the importance of authenticity. And Jamie has heard this story before. At 32, I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, large scar on my forehead, know, and involved a skin graft from my neck. And up until kind of middle through the pandemic, I really wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I had brown hair, I had, you know, my hair covering the scar. But if the pandemic had taught me anything, it was that life is too short. So as soon as everything opened back up, I went to my hairstylist and I said, OK, Ashley, I’m ready. Give me platinum blonde hair. I want a mohawk and what the hell throw in some purple. I’m going to rock this scar. So the title of that musical would either be maybe Rock This Scar or The Purple Mohawk because it’s really me being my authentic self and that’s absolutely critical to my purpose here.
I love that. Let’s go with rock that scar powered by the purple mohawk. There we go. I like it.
I am so glad that story came up. I am so glad, because Amelia, I remember when you shared that the first time, I was just like, yes, that’s like, show, again, another example of how we can show up. And however that is for any one of our listeners, we hope that you feel empowered after this episode to, you know, communicate, you know, whether it’s something, it’s how you appear in the world or what you put out there in the written word or verbally, like we want you to be you. So thank you, Amelia, for sharing that and for taking the time with us. We wanna make sure that our listeners can connect with you. So if people wanna find your work, they can find you at your website, AmeliaReigstad.com, it’s A-M-E-L-I-A-R-E-I-G-S-T-A-D.com. And they can connect with you on LinkedIn, where at? And Instagram, I’ll let you fill those in.
Yep, absolutely. So I’m on LinkedIn and Instagram. Feel free to email me, amelia@ameliareigstad.com.
Awesome. Well, Amelia, we will provide links to all of those spaces they can connect with you along with you also shared with us some different articles that you both have written and have been featured in. So we’ll put those in our show notes for our listeners. Thank you so much for taking the time.
Yes. Thank you to you both. That was wonderful to speak with you.
Thank you, Dr. Amelia. Rock That Scar musical coming out soon, y’all be on the lookout.
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Thanks for joining us for this episode. As always, we’d love to hear your thoughts on our conversation today and how you approach this aspect of healthy living in your own life. What works for you? Where do you run into challenges? Where do you need help? And if you have topics for future episodes, you can share those with us too. Email us lttalks@lt.life or reach out to us on Instagram @lifetime.life, @jamiemartinel, or @freezy30 and use the hashtag #LifeTimeTalks.
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Life Time Talks is a production of Life Time Healthy Way of Life. It is produced by Molly Kopischke and Sara Ellingsworth with audio engineering by Peter Perkins, video production and editing by Kevin Dixon, sound and video consulting by Coy Larson, and support from George Norman and the rest of the team at Life Time Motion. A big thank you to everyone who helps create each episode and provides feedback.
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The information in this podcast is intended to provide broad understanding and knowledge of healthcare topics. This information is for educational purposes only and should not be considered complete and should not be used in place of advice from your physician or healthcare provider. We recommend you consult your physician or healthcare professional before beginning or altering your personal exercise, diet or supplementation program.