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  1. You don’t seem to be a priority. The therapy hour should feel sacred. If your therapist is chronically late, seems distracted during sessions, or doesn’t recall important details you’ve shared, consider looking elsewhere.
  2. You’re not sure what you’re working on. An effective therapist will explain their approach, work with you to develop goals, and regularly check in to ensure you’re meeting them. Frequently wondering what you’re doing and why — or not getting clarity when you ask — can provide grounds for taking a step back from the relationship.
  3. You feel more like a diagnosis than a human. Formal diagnoses can be helpful, especially if they lead to effective treatments. But you are a human, not a collection of symptoms, so think twice if your therapist seems more focused on treating a disorder than understanding a real person.
  4. You feel minimized, judged, or belittled. These are obvious red flags: Therapy must feel safe to be effective. Still, therapists are human. They make mistakes, miss cues, and put their foot in their mouth from time to time … which is why the final sign is so important.
  5. You don’t feel comfortable offering feedback. You can and should be able to bring up missteps or misunderstandings without fear of getting a defensive reaction. Any therapist who isn’t willing to hear your concerns is not the right therapist for you.

Do You Need to Break Up With You Therapist?

A good working relationship with your therapist is key to successful treatment. So how can you tell if your therapist is right for you? And, if they aren’t, how do you end the relationship? Learn more at “How to Break Up With Your Therapist,” from where these tips were excerpted.

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Alexandra Smith, MA, LPCC

Alexandra Smith, MA, LPCC, is a licensed professional clinical counselor in Minneapolis and an Experience Life contributing editor.

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