1) Casual gatherings offset loneliness.
The instinct to gather is “fundamental to who we are as social animals, a practice etched into our very being,” says David Davies, PhD. “We get together to reaffirm our connections with each other.”
These connections matter. Recent studies have shown that loneliness can be as detrimental to health as smoking. And when we’re lonely, our negative thoughts can become self-reinforcing. Meanwhile, time in the company of others can interrupt that cycle. (Learn more about how to offset loneliness at “Why Social Bonds Are So Important for Our Health.”)
2) Community is good for our partner relationships.
Mia Birdsong points out that humans tend to organize into groups — friends, family, neighbors, faith communities — not just into pairs. “Two people are not the village. In a context where most of us aren’t living with extended family, gathering gives us an opportunity to be in the village,” she says. And enjoying ourselves in community can take some of the pressure off our partnerships to fulfill all our social needs.
3) We’re reminded that food is more than just fuel.
Many gatherings center on rituals that acknowledge our interdependence. “Often it’s around cooking and eating,” Davies observes. “Traditionally, the idea of transforming wild nature into something we eat together has an aspect of communion. When we share a meal, we nourish each other.”
4) We take time to appreciate what we have.
Yia Vang, a Minneapolis chef who immigrated to the United States with his Hmong family when he was a young child, recalls large gatherings around makeshift grills in the Thai refugee camp where he was born. Those gatherings were built upon relationships forged in hardship yet grounded in gratitude. “It was an acknowledgment that we might not have had everything in the world, but we had each other,” he says.
Today, Vang creates gatherings at his restaurant Union Hmong Kitchen. They’re centered on a communal table where friends share a meal, a celebration of the enduring beauty of people connecting over food. “You can see the joy in their eyes,” he says. “Innately, our souls need each other.”
Great gatherings don’t usually happen by chance — they’re created with care. For tips to make holiday get-togethers both meaningful and fun, see “5 Rules for Gathering” from which this article was excerpted.
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