Each Sunday, Megan Sheldon convenes a ceremonial grief swim in the sea near her home in North Vancouver, B.C. “People gather and everybody chooses an object on the beach that reflects something they’re grieving,” she says. “We share and witness each other’s losses, we throw our objects into the ocean, and then we swim. It’s a transcendent experience.”
Rituals can mark transitions and thresholds big and small. They can provide a sense of control in times of grief, uncertainty, and anxiety. Ritual behaviors are common in unpredictable contexts, too — in sports, for example, but also in periods of political or economic strain. Rituals can decrease stress, increase mindfulness and focus, and allow us to connect with ourselves and with each other.
We can engage in rituals passed down through our cultural or religious traditions, or we can make them up. And they don’t have to be elaborate or saved for special occasions — they can be simple, daily practices. “A ritual can be done once and never again and still be a ritual,” Sheldon says.
When Sheldon designs rituals for herself or others, she tries to incorporate sensory elements — sight, smell, sound, touch, taste — as well as the elements of earth, air, fire, or water. “But I’m very clear on not being prescriptive,” she says.
Everyday Rituals
The following “tiny rituals” take 10 minutes or less, with minimal fanfare. Try one — or get inspired to create your own.
1. Two Feet
Transform the act of getting out of bed into a moment of intention-setting. Sheldon recommends choosing two intention words the night before — or allowing them to arise as you awake. Take three deep breaths and place your feet on the floor one at a time, stating one word for each as you stand. Take a moment to feel yourself grounded in your intention.
2. Morning or Evening Music
Bring harmony to the beginning or end of your day with music. Ritually singing, playing, listening to, or dancing to music can energize or ground you, says therapist Brie Vortherms, LMFT, senior director of Life Time Mind. “My family has a song we play every morning as we’re eating breakfast. It’s something we look forward to, and a very peaceful start to our day.”
3. Workday Start and Stop
If you work from home, consider using rituals, such as lighting a lamp or arranging your office supplies, to demarcate the beginning and end of your workday. Integrative-psychology researcher Aimee Prasek, PhD, has a special scarf she sets on her office chair when she starts her workday. She removes it from her office once the day is done. “It helps keep work from bleeding into my evening,” Prasek says.
4. Romantic Connections
“Unless we’re intentional about including rituals and little bits of tradition in our romantic relationships, it’s really easy to get disconnected,” says Vortherms, who often works with couples. Rituals like morning coffee together, sharing a long kiss when reuniting, or taking a Sunday morning walk provide predictability and structure when life gets busy.
5. Ceremonial Sips
Introduce a sacred pause in your day with a mindful cup of coffee or tea. Prepare your drink deliberately, noticing steam, aroma, and sounds, advises Sheldon, then mindfully pour it into a favorite mug. Sit in a peaceful spot free of distractions and notice the warmth of the mug in your hands. Take your first sip and savor the taste and temperature. Pay attention to how the liquid feels moving down your throat. Reflect on how you might carry this awareness into your day.
6. Departure and Arrival
Leaving home and returning are daily transitions that become more meaningful with ritual. Acknowledge taking leave of family, pets, or just the sanctity of home with a ritual farewell — a special wave, a kiss, or a blessing for safety and protection.
Upon your return, pause and decide what energy you want to bring into your home and what you can leave outside, suggests Vortherms. Take a breath and cross the threshold mindfully.
(Try this mindfulness practice from Rick Hanson, “The Practice of Arrival.”)
7. Digital Check-Ins
Even our devices can be tools of ritual if used intentionally, Prasek says. As an example, she shares that when a friend was very ill, a group-text thread dedicated to Wordle became a daily way for friends to check in with him and with each other. “The point was to see how everyone was doing. The understanding was that if you don’t finish your Wordle tonight, you’re going to get a call tomorrow!”
8. Appreciation Jar
Keeping a gratitude journal is a well-researched ritual for supporting well-being, but cultural psychologist Catherine Reid Day, MA, prefers to direct her energy toward appreciation.
“Appreciation resonates at a higher level for me,” she says. Her ritual entails noting moments that move her — swans flying overhead, a gift from a friend — on dedicated slips of paper, which she places in a beautiful jar. Each New Year’s morning, Reid Day empties the jar and reflects on a year’s worth of special moments.
9. Conscious Dining
Whether a family affair or a table for one, each mealtime can incorporate ritual. Clear away clutter, set the table (use the nice napkins!), and light candles. Turn off screens and turn on soothing music. Take a moment before you tuck in to notice the food in front of you — the textures, temperatures, smells, and colors — and consider the many hands who made this meal possible. (For more on food rituals, see “The Power of Simple Food Rituals.”)
10. Rinse Away Stress
Water is a powerful energetic element, says Vortherms, who recommends using your daily shower to symbolically rinse away energy and thoughts that no longer serve you. “Even if you’re looking from the cognitive science rather than the energetic perspective, this works,” she says. “Your thoughts create a cascade of hormones and neuromodulators that affect the way you feel. Setting an intention to let water rinse off what’s not yours is a beautiful ritual.”
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